Thursday, August 4, 2016

Dear Women: How To Stop Having The Same Fights With Your Husband

Every couple seems to have that one thing they will never agree on. No matter how much you argue about it, it never gets resolved. While it's perfectly normal (and even healthy) to argue, these repeated disagreements can turn your happy marriage into a sour one.

In order to stop having the same fight, try out these tips:

1. Find the deeper meaning
When your husband tells you he forgot to do what you asked him to do despite being asked 27 times this week, why are you mad? Stop and think about what you are actually mad about at before you blow up in his face.

Oftentimes, anger is a cover-up for what we are really feeling inside. This feeling could be disappointment, confusion, exhaustion, or other emotions.

Take time to decide what you are really feeling before you start to argue. You aren't actually mad that the floor isn't mopped; the fact that your husband keeps disappointing you is really what is upsetting. Leave the sticky kitchen floor for a few more hours and let your spouse know the root of your anger.

Address the real concern you have in a respectful manner and see if this resolves the fight for good.

2. Don't blame him anymore
You control how you feel. You make the conscious choice to be happy with what people do or say. Don't blame your spouse. He's not the one who is destroying your marriage or making you mad. You have chosen to be angry about what's happening. Of course, there are circumstances that make it easier to be angry rather than happy, but ultimately, you are in charge of how you are feeling.

When you notice yourself accusing your husband, stop. There is no way problems will be resolved if blame replaces conversation. When you accuse, conversations turn into defensive arguments that never lead to resolutions.

Next time you both begin to argue about that same old problem, don't play the blame game. Instead, trying sharing responsibility and focus on a solution.

3. Reward yourself when you resolve the problem
Though it's been difficult, you both have found a solution to your shared problem - Great! To help guarantee that this issue is truly behind you, reward yourselves.

Ending a disagreement on a happy note is one of the best ways to truly resolve conflict. Use this time to celebrate together. Block out time to cuddle, schedule an extra date night this week, or crack open a carton of ice cream to share in the middle of the night. Remind yourselves how much you like spending time together.

If there is any residual anger, it will soon be forgotten when you two cuddle up close and share your favorite ice cream.

To continue your happy resolution, respect your spouse. Remember; you are only a strong as your partner. Choose to fix your issues as a team, instead of pointing blame or deciding to be angry.

(Credit: Familyshare)

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