Thursday, September 8, 2016

5 ways to connect with your spouse at the end of the day

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We have outlined for you below how NOT to greet your spouse as well as the power of a good greeting.

1. Stop what you're doing to greet your spouse

But don't just greet him, run to him. Show him you are so anxious to see him that you just can't move slowly or apathetically. And if you are the one coming home - find your spouse first. Before your kids, before your dog, and certainly before your phone. Spouse first.

2. Hug

But don't just hug, embrace. We're talking the fully committed leaning type.

3. Kiss

But not just a habit peck, I mean the type of kiss to make your kids groan in agony. You know what I'm talking about.

4. Express love

Compliment. Express gratitude. Say "I love you." Make her KNOW that you are so happy to see her. Show your love in your eyes. A few examples could be, "Yay! You're home!" "You look great in that shirt." "I've been looking forward to seeing you all day." "I missed you today."

5. Save the venting session

Don't unload all the day's frustrations right away. This happens to us all the time. The first thing we say is, "How was your day." And in order to be 'authentic' we generally start spouting off the angst of the day. "Ugh, I only got half of what I wanted to get done today!" "I'm SO tired!" etc.

This can be especially damaging because venting sessions can be so easily misinterpreted. If my husband starts venting about his day I can think, "Oh, he's in a bad mood. Guess I should let him have his space. We'll have to save a romantic night for another night." When, he might not be thinking that at all!

Also all too often 'mad at the situation' can come off as 'mad at you.' Happens to us all the time. So save the venting session for a little later if you can. If you really need to get something off your chest, say it but then add something sweet so it's totally clear that your mood is 'mad at the situation' not mad at your spouse.

For example, "The kids almost killed me today, but I'm so happy to see you." Or "My boss was driving me bonkers. Sure glad I'm here with you now." Or "I felt tired and didn't get anything done. Your face is making it better."

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