And the worst part about it is that arguing without a mutual understanding slowly eats away at a marriage you have worked hard to build up. For anyone, this can be extremely concerning.
Although I do believe that arguing can also be productive when you reach an ultimatum, I also do believe that it can cause more damage than intended when an argument is first initiated.
Bickering in a marriage is common but full-fledged fights are not something you can easily brush off.
Here are some suggestions to consider when you want to smooth things over:
1. Make your marriage a priority
Many couples do not have a peaceful relationship because they do not remember to keep the fire burning. They don't put their pride aside and continue to damage the other by making the point they are trying to make more significant than the relationship. Realize that you love one another too much not to put aside your differences and make your relationship focus on your unity.
2. Understand your emotions
Figure out you and your spouse's feelings before you get into a heated dispute over a situation. This will serve a good purpose in not holding any previous resentment towards the other, in order to get to a mutual conclusion with one another.
3. Keep it physical
When you are about to enter a heated conversation continually have physical contact with your partner, even if you don't want to, at least try. Holding their hand while you express your opinion or laying your hand on their leg will diffuse any negative feelings that were held and reinforce that you seek to understand them.
4. Consider your mannerisms
Be aware of your facial expressions and body language when engaging in an argument. Arms folded normally distinguishes that you feel defensive. Body posture turned outwardly could mean that you feel careless towards the situation. Make sure when you speak or are listening that your body language resembles a positive attitude, otherwise your spouse could receive the wrong signals from you.
5. Never insult
Don't bring up things left in the past, don't place blame and especially never insult your spouse. Just don't- trust me on this one. There is an art to communicating properly; when you are seeking to cool things over you don't want to fan the flame.
6. Remember the love
My personal tip when you want to stop all the arguing is to remember all the good times. Before firing away over an issue, stop and take a quick 10-30 minutes to reflect on old memories. Some arguments can lead to disaster in just a few seconds but taking the time to recall your love and the promises you've made together run thicker than a situational argument.
Give your marriage the patience and commitment that it deserves. It will not happen instantly but over time you learn that the positive relationship you're searching for comes from strong communication, understanding and ensuring your love rises above all else.
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