Thursday, December 8, 2016

How To Recognise An I Just Got Back

The time of the year when your brothers and sisters and cousins from the overseas decide to come down to the motherland to celebrate the Christmas festivities.

It’s IJGB season: IJGB - I Just Got Back

But anyway, how do you spot an IJGB in Lagos?

1. The accent
Unliked the watered accents you hear in Lagos, the IJGB guys come with the actual version of these accents depending on where they just got back from.

2. They want to calculate everything in dollars or pounds
Oh, how much are these suede boots? 10,000 naira. Okay, convert to dollars, please.

3. They are ready to attend everything happening in Lagos
Because they’ve missed Lagos rocks and they came well prepared.

4. They’re always complaining
Why is it so hot? Why is there traffic everywhere?

5. They find it hard to price
Because funds dey. They’ll enter a cab from Palmgroove to Onipanu for 1,200

6. They’re shocked at almost everything
Wow, you people now have Red Lobster in Lagos.

7. They cannot keep shut about renovations in the city
When did they renovate that place on Admiralty Way?

8. They’re always comparing the city to other places
Lagos is nowhere close to what London is right now sef. They’re still a long way to go.

9. They always want to tell you about their experiences abroad
That one time that I went to the club and met this very hot bartender.

10. But the best thing is that they’re always ready to spend
Doro is a cheerful giver! #CashTeam

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